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Re: Ask Machines Anything. I'm not really a sceptic (more on the neutral side of the scale), but I'm definitely curious! I don't pay for any chatbot, and I rarely use ChatGPT, but when I do, it's certainly underwhelming. So I thought of some questions for your robot minions, all about cryptic crosswords. (I recently got really into cryptic crosswords, especially minutecryptic.com, and have been writing some clues of my own. I sometimes check and improve them with the help of ChatGPT, but I always have to explain exactly how they work, otherwise it falls flat on its face.)

So I want your fancy golems to solve some of my cryptic clues. Question #1 is the easiest, the clue is very simple with only one type of wordplay, and I also give a lot of context about how the clue is supposed to work and what platform it's intended for. I give less info for #2, and only the bare minimum for #3 and #4 … I don't actually know which of the clues is the most difficult, but I guess we'll see? Anyway, here's the texts I used for ChatGPT (which fell on its face every single time, more on that below). I'd say start every question in a new conversation for a clean slate, but you probably do that anyway.

QUESTION #1:

I created a cryptic for minutecryptic.com. It follows a clear fodder/definition/wordplay or letterplay indicator structure. The definition is always at the start or at the end of the clue. This one only uses one type of letterplay/wordplay. Can you solve it?

A splash of colour shines through black oil? (3)

QUESTION #2:

I created a cryptic for minutecryptic.com. Can you solve it?

Know-it-all says: "Even dummy AI cuts original update, buddy." (2, 8)

QUESTION #3:

I created a cryptic clue. Can you solve it?

It hurts when full hairless torso rolls over down in the emergency room. (7)

QUESTION #4:

I created a cryptic clue. Can you solve it?

Unstable ladder to first balcony—four scared pangolins cry out! (6)

CORRECT SOLUTIONS TO THE CLUES (so that you'll know if the golem maybe just lucked into the answer):

#1: KOI - "A splash of colour" is the definition. "shines through" is a hidden word indicator, telling us to look for a word hidden within "black oil", which gives KOI.

#2: UM ACTUALLY - "Know-it-all says" is the definition. "Even" is a selection indicator, telling us to select the even letters from "dummy AI cuts", giving UM ACT. "original" is another selection indicator, telling us to select the first letter of the word "update", so now we have UM ACTU, and lastly "buddy" just needs to be substituted for "ally", giving UM ACTUALLY.

#3: BLADDER - "It hurts when full" is the definition. "hairless" needs to be substituted for "bald". "hairless torso rolls over" instructs us to switch the torso (middle two) letters of "bald", giving BLAD. Then you simply substitue "down" for D and "emergency room" for ER, and add all together to get BLADDER.

#4: BOOHOO - "Unstable" is an anagram indicator, telling us to anagram the letters of the solution. "ladder" needs to visually be substitued for H. "first balcony" instructs us to take the first letter of balcony, so B, and "four scared pangolins" need to be visually substituted with four O's, because they curl up in a ball when they're scard. So we have HBOOOO, which anagrams to BOOHOO - "cry out" is the definition.

For #1, ChatGPT usually thinks it's INK. At least it correctly recognises "black oil" as the fodder!

For #2, I get answers like MY BEST FRIEND for "buddy", which has neither the correct number of letters nor words … Or MR BRAINIAC, which is closer but still far from correct.

For #3, sometimes it thinks STOMACH, sometimes it admits defeat.

For #4, sometimes it thinks ALARM (again with the letter count …), sometimes it admits defeat.

(I only fed it every hint twice when I wrote this up, but I know from experience that the first guess is always wrong in ChatGPT. Maybe it would luck into the correct answer once if I tried it 100 times for the easiest clue, but I don't have the patience for that. I will say that a friend has a few free days of Gemini, and he tried the KOI clue for me, and it got it correct on the first try! So I somewhat expect that all paid models will get that one correct at the very least.)

Anyway, let me know what your minions say if you have the time to bother them about this!

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